Birth Story #2 (Home Birth)

My second pregnancy was more difficult than my first pregnancy. I had many more aches and pains and dealt with  many fears brought on by my first labor and delivery, which you can read HERE.

Here are some excerpts from my prayer journal to give you an idea of what the end of my pregnancy was like (my due date was June 27th, the same due date my first child had and the day he was born).

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Just read through an old journal... I didn't write "I'm tired of pregnancy" until June 8... This time I'm already tired of pregnancy, and two weeks earlier (Perhaps that means she'll be 2 weeks early?)...(she was)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

...Dealing with anxiety on several nights. Fears and concerns about the childbirth... How do I change my emotions? I know I ought not be afraid, and yet I am still fearful...

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Still pregnant... Recognizing I need to learn contentment, patience, and trust. But how? 

(I did a Bible word study and came up with the following answers:)

1. Through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:11-13)
2. Through the LORD who hears me (Psalm 40:1)
3. Through the LORD who guides me (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Well... I haven't been feeling as anxious lately! However, perhaps that's just because I've given up on ever going into real labor!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Still no baby!

The words to this song keep echoing in my mind: I hear the Savior say, "Thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray, find in Me thine all in all."

... An aching craving, deep within my soul, draws me near to my God...

 Birth Day: June 16, 2011

At 1:30 a.m. I got up to go to the bathroom.  I experienced a contraction that was so strong it nearly knocked me off the toilet. After that FIRST contraction, I KNEW it was time. I had my husband call my friend who would be serving as a doula while I called the midwife and drew a bath for myself. I had just sat in the tub and was experiencing ginormous contractions that barreled over me again and again (like 2 minutes into labor) as I reached my midwife on the phone. She asked, "how far apart are they?" I couldn't answer, since I was in the middle of one again, but I was thinking, "Are you insane? Get over here! Why would I call you if I wasn't in labor!??"

My doula arrived soon and stayed with me while my husband filled up the swimming pool in the living room and sent our son over to the neighbors.

I FINALLY was able to get into the pool and experience the relief of being in the water.

Here is another excerpt from my journal about this stage of the labor:

During the labor, I finally got into a rhythm during contractions. [My husband] stroked my back and counted down from 10 until they were over. I leaned over the side of the pool and rested/relaxed as much as possible. Someone fanned me and gave me water as I asked for it. (I was addicted to drinking from a straw after this birth)

You, my God, helped me through it. I remembered the words of the song: "child of weakness... find in Me thine all in all." Wednesday, I put a background picture on our computer. It is a painting of Jesus holding a girl in His arms. As the pain became overwhelming, I leaned over the edge of the pool and became that girl--the edge was Your shoulder and I felt Your arms--Your presence--surround me. You alone were my strength when I was weak.

There was one point in the labor where I stood up and was ready to walk out the door. For some reason I truly believed that if I left our house the pain would stay there without me. It took a grueling contraction to remind me of the truth and I kneeled back down.

After more than 2 hours of labor, the midwife wanted to check the progress of my dilation. I was at an 8 (what!!! I started at a 7! This is never going to end!!). While still on  my back from being checked, I experienced the worst contraction ever. I thought I was going to die. :) I believe that contraction opened me to a 10, because the next contraction I pushed... and nothing happened. With the next contraction her head came out and with the next the rest of her was born.

I was the first person to hold her. This is the moment we met her:

Of course, I do need to note that I had just freaked out a little bit because she wasn't breathing at first... I held her before she took her first breath and all I knew was that my baby's not breathing, fix her! (she just took her time about her first breath is all).

She was born on June 16, 2011 at 3:58 a.m. after about 2 1/2 hours of labor and only 3 pushes. 7 lbs, 4 oz., 20 inches long.

Our home birth was such a blessing!

Birth Story #1 (Hospital)

Today I thought I'd share my first birth story with you. Enjoy! You can also read about my second birth (a home birth!) HERE. 

In Labor!

On Friday night, June 26th, 2009, I was concerned by the feeling that something was falling out of me. I checked myself, and found that something WAS coming out. I was pretty sure the bag of waters was beginning to sag outside me, and the water was about to break.

At 3:30 a.m. on Saturday I woke up to go to the bathroom. I felt wet and when I sat down I found that the panty liner I was wearing was soaked pink. I was pretty sure my water had broken, so I woke up my parents and husband, Aaron.

We gathered our things to go to the hospital. I was frustrated and sleepy. I was not having any contractions, and I didn’t want to go be in the hospital to be in labor all day. I was also concerned that since the contractions hadn’t started yet, perhaps interventions might be necessary.

During the 15 minute drive to the hospital, I began to have contractions. At first they were not painful, but they became progressively difficult. By the time we reached the hospital and I got out of the van, I had a contraction that was so hard I had to stop and lean on Aaron until it passed. We got upstairs and the nurses worked on paperwork while I stood for what seemed like an eternity at the counter. I had a difficult time maintaining my composure during the contractions, and occasionally had to kneel down during a contraction.

At the Hospital

Finally they sent me to a room to check me, but I could not make it down the hallway so they gave me a wheelchair. I had to go to the bathroom before they checked me out, and as I stood up from the wheelchair fluid gushed out as my water broke even more. Aaron came in to help me put on the hospital gown, and I felt panicky about the entire experience, but Aaron helped me to calm down.  

Somehow I was moved to a small room and they attached a fetal monitor around my stomach to gauge the baby’s heartbeat and the contractions. The nurse came in and had me sign papers at this time. I was on my back and very uncomfortable. The contractions were two minutes apart by this time, and I was dilated 7 cm and fully effaced.

As I lay there, I focused on relaxing through the contractions and thinking about the baby moving down and coming out. I knew that if I was relaxed, he would have an easier time coming out, and the labor would be quicker and less painful. I told myself that I was not experiencing pain, because pain is a signal that something is wrong. I focused on the thought that this is something entirely different—it is labor, not pain. THIS feeling was a good feeling, because it was causing the baby to be born.

The Birthing Pool

After an eternity, I was walked down a long hallway (so it seemed, but it was actually only a few doors down) to the birthing room. I lay on my side on the bed as my dad and Aaron set up the birthing pool. This time seemed to pass very quickly. I was soon helped into the pool, where I felt immediate relief. I thought, “This isn’t going to be so bad, after all!” The water relaxed me and I felt so much better. I rested on Aaron and used a noodle for balance. However, as the contractions became more difficult and closer together, I began to feel panicky because there was no hard surface to rest on. I felt insecure and wanted a stool or something to lift me out of the water somewhat. I felt like I was going to drown (even though Aaron was holding me securely), so it was more difficult to relax (later I learned the water was too deep--I couldn't sit comfortably). 

I also began to feel the urge to push, so I got out of the tub to go to the bathroom. I remember my mom telling me not to have the baby in the toilet. :) I got into the tub again, and in addition to feeling insecure during contractions, I also began to feel overwhelmingly hot. I wanted to get out of the tub.

I was then moved back to the bed. I was wet, but I didn’t care, because the wetness helped me to cool off. I felt like a normal person for a moment between contractions as I rested on my side on the bed, and I just wanted to fall asleep and rest… but the contractions weren’t letting off any, so I couldn’t relax very well.

Worst Part of Labor and Transition

The midwife came in and asked if I wanted to push on the bed, on the birthing stool, or in the water. Three options were too many for me to consider because of the pressure I was feeling from the baby, so I just said, “I don’t know.” I didn’t want the birthing pool, and when the midwife said something about how the birthing stool was “murder on a first time mom’s perineum,” the matter seemed to be decided, so I stayed on the bed.

I was most comfortable halfway between my side and my back, and I think I switched sides at least once. I kept feeling hot and cold at the same time, so I would ask for a cool cloth, and then once it was on my head I felt cold and asked that it be removed. My doula fanned me and placed the cloth on my head.

The details at this time become fuzzy, and I remember things clearly, but not in chronological order. Aaron stroked me where I asked until I asked him to, “DON’T TOUCH ME!”

Pushing and Delivery

As the pushing became more intense, I remember the midwife saying that it would only take about three pushes for the baby to come out. I did my best to push hard, but after three pushes I was tired and frustrated that the baby hadn’t come yet. People kept saying “you’re almost there,” and then “I see the head!” but I am certain I had to push many times more than only three as the midwife had predicted.

I began to be overcome by the pressure and the intensity of the pushing, so I began to pass out. The feelings that accompanied losing consciousness felt GOOD. I WANTED to pass out and be away from the situation. I was getting mad at everyone for saying that I HAD to push, and that I COULD push, when I just wanted to stop and rest for a while. I felt like I was being pushed harder than I could have pushed alone. I would have taken it easier and tried to rest more if they had let me.  

During the final pushes, the baby was coming out and I knew that the hardest part was over. I was so tired of pushing and of being overcome with the strong feelings and of the inability to communicate at all or to take a rest. I didn’t like the way it felt as the midwife rubbed around the baby’s head. I wanted her to leave me alone, and I wanted everyone to be quiet, but there wasn’t any way for me to tell them these things. Therefore, as the final pushing was taking place and I knew I didn’t need to reserve energy, I screamed out my frustration and painful feelings. It was a scream of triumph as well. I was irritated that they said I was “losing control” because I knew exactly what I was doing and screamed because I felt like it.

My son was born at 7:59 a.m. on Saturday.

Aaron cut the cord, which I couldn’t see because I didn’t have my glasses on, and then they took Josiah away to clean him. I was upset that I hadn’t had a chance to look at him. I wish they had held him up for me to see, or at least taken a picture for me. If they did hold him up, it was too far away because my glasses weren’t on. I wanted to hold my baby.

Aftermath

The first time I got up, I passed out. I had lost a lot of blood from (a) the (unneeded) episiotomy and (b) from pushing too hard when the midwife forced me to (both because the midwife was in a hurry). I pushed so hard, I broke blood vessels in my face and had blood-red spots all over my cheeks. I was weak for weeks from the blood loss, and the episiotomy took months to heal. I didn't get to see my baby until he had been cleaned and clothed and I felt like I missed out. 

Overall, I was not happy with my hospital birth experience. But here are the good things:

(1) The entire process took 3.5 hours from first contraction to delivery (4.5 hours from when 

my water broke)

(2) I had an unmedicated birth with no major complications

(3) I gave birth to a healthy 7 lb, 5 oz baby boy on June 27th, 2009

(4) I absolutely loved staying in the hospital for two days afterward! People brought me food 

and gifts, and I could spend all my time with my son without any chores or anything. :)

Poor baby with drops in his eyes and not being held by his Mama...

So tired...